Archive for August, 2022

There is a rule of thumb in play, do you know what it is? Most likely not so I shall tell you. It is: I do not write when there’s daylight, I only write when it’s dark and everyone is asleep. I have said in a previous post that neglecting parental duties isn’t acceptable and so here we are at 6am. The sun isn’t up yet and yesterday was relatively chess free.

Somehow I want to say I am suffering but I’m not neither am I in pain. Somehow I want to reflect on misadventure in Laos but I can’t let myself do that. It’s undignifying for a start, and didn’t we have enough of that last night and haven’t we heard enough about Laos of late? This morning my mood is clearer, I’m not sombre or saddened by anything at all and it just so happens that I put a little masterpiece on here before this post.

Admittedly, I have said something is slightly wrong and here we are again. I am talking to someone but I don’t know who and I cannot tell if they listen or not. Is this just loneliness I wonder? I’m not feeling it or anything else right now except contentment but I am a loner and maybe I do it more than I realise. It’s strange to say the least because I do not write to be read.

I think I shall lie down and just look into the gloom. My child is beside me. I am so attached to her woe betide any fool who tries harming her. I will lie down and remain alert in the gloom. It’s unclear to me what my purpose is here. Yes I love to write and of late I have conflated my abilities. I was doing this last month and once more, with intense scrutiny I do sense loneliness, and with it the loss of interlocutors.

I will lie down and remain clear-minded. All is okay.

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It’s fair to say that from the very first to the 500,000th time I nearly had a heart attack at the chess board I wasn’t too bothered about it but there were times between the 500,000 to the 1,000,000 mark where I was. Nobody wants medical emergencies at the chess board but even in the current Olympiad we had one, in which an act of kindness helped save the day.

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2 versus 1

The greatest tragedy of chess in the context of the modern game is that not enough women play it. Not enough by far in fact and until the balance is readdressed globally, there will always be work to be done on that. When women do play chess, it isn’t very often you see them playing whilst heavily pregnant, so here is a rather touching video of the current Olympiad where that clearly is the case -must be tough to do!

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Having photographed more than enough international chess tournaments and worked behind the scenes with senior Arbiters when doing so, the point made in the video below I find rather strange. So an arbiter made a mistake? What is so unusual here, it goes on all the time. But because it involved the Norway team, the prestige of result was elevated and it drew attention even though such mistakes are made more frequently than what is suggested here. I don’t see why Svidler is so surprised tbh.

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These days it’s a crime in all first world countries to allow your offline life to remain dominant over your online life, and carries a jail sentence of variable lengths ranging from half a minute to a few days…well so it seems.

It is, of course, the rest day of the 2022 Chess Olympiad in Chennai. You might wonder what chess players do on their day off. Stay in their room and read books? Go for a walk in a park somewhere? Maybe even go for a coffee and chat chess with fellow players? The public perception of chess players isn’t, on the whole, positive. We aren’t renowned for being the most exciting bunch on the planet and are often thought of as bookish and boring.

Well, I have linked below a video or two of the Bermuda Party, the central feature of the rest day, and it does a pretty good job of breaking down certain perceptions of what chess players might do on a day off. Like most, if not all, they party!

If I may be allowed to bring my warped sense of humour into the post, I’ve watched both videos and can confirm there were no punch ups on the dance floors. No knuckledusters seen! No one was bottled or baseball batted and no one was hit by flying pints, flying chairs and flying tables! Just thought I’d let you know! Do take note of how young the audience is. Most non chess players would find all this rather surprising methinks when in fact it’s all quite normal.

Mark. J. McCready 11.10pm August 4th

BKK

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Preferably, today won’t be like yesterday and just total chess. At some point I am going to take a closer look at some very recent posts. I don’t know who I am talking to in them, and that is not right at all. You don’t need to be able to define your audience but developing a voice matters, and when that voice is pitching a message to unknown characters, something is definitely wrong.

It would appear I shall have to pull back and take a look at what is going on here because if the purpose for writing remains unidentifiable what are you writing for in the first place?

Just perhaps I have become too self-indulgent and need to give it a break. refocus and stop trying to make everything humorous. I think we can safely say overkill is rapidly approaching.

That aside, I very subtly pick up on a sense of loneliness in play…I am trying to talk to someone but who?

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Hot off their stunning opening victory today, Laos face the mighty Mauritius tomorrow. Eventually the result of the match will fade away until its forgotten. Not very soon and not soon either but one day it will, and then it will be gone…are you gone?

The mighty Mark now moves into gear

‘Oh that English fellow on the bike, he’s gone’

‘Gone? What really? That was quick’ he replied more surprised than interested less concerned than curious.

He, in this instance is myself and the dialogue above refers to the time in Laos I put my bike on a bus and went to Ngam Ngum, only to turn around minutes later and cycle back to Vientiane post haste -not tomfoolery at its very worst just abject mindlessness when things were far from okay on all levels psychologically and physically. The mighty Mark, as it says above was not so mighty at all it seems.

In case you don’t know, what happens in life is you remain alive until the day you die but that day can come sooner than expected if you want it to or you push yourself too hard. And it does for a great many all too often. When I decided to cycle back to Vientiane, I was not in good shape mentally and made a fearfully snap decision for all the wrong reasons. But being me I just went for it and did not look back. I was escaping my ensnared self you could say. There was no real why. No why I could justify. Yes it’s true I have bucket loads of stamina but that doesn’t mean you can behave so impulsively and put yourself under such immense strain, especially once it got dark, and dark it got.

Eventually it reached the point where I had absolutely no idea of where I was and how far from the capital I was. The lighting on my bike was really poor and there was no street lighting either. I couldn’t get off the road I was on but wanted to rest up somewhere. It was only when I got much closer to the capital that I found a room but in truth I had no idea of where I was. Someone found it funny that I asked where I could buy chocolate, being out of the city -I was shattered I needed a sugar rush fast. I started the journey off paranoid, weakened and impulsive, ruining the whole experience of spending a relaxing time by the lake.

When I went to sleep I did not move once in the night and woke in the same position. How do I know? To say the body creaked when it stirred is quite an under-statement as all my joints had locked up. Is it okay to make yourself ill? I used to do it all the time because I have always had a certain indestructibility about me, and so much stamina it never can seem to run out. People hurt themselves because they do not love themselves. Before my child was born I had forgotten what love was and years passed by where I was estranged from it. It’s not like that now and in telling you all this I want to reiterate that in life we have to know what we are getting ourselves into if you want to come out of it in one piece. When you enter into the third world, you don’t go hitting 50-60 kms on your bike late in the day, you just don’t do it because the level of risk is far too high, and the problems encountered are so difficult to solve. There is no need to push yourself to the limit, which I did more or less. So do be more circumspect than I was that time and bear in mind you are only human, and born to make mistakes.

Laos has some painful memories because before becoming a father I didn’t care about anything. Still to this day I think I can go anywhere on my bike but with age I know I have to make that untrue. Laos is a third world country, your options are limited by the empty space that is everywhere, and do you know what happens to those who can’t help themselves? They are left to their own devices. Just don’t be like me and make yourself learn things the hard way. The third world requires much more preparation than the first world, and should you go to Laos to marvel at all it is -be more prepared and less impulsive than usual.

You might believe me, or might not when I tell you I have made so many mistakes in my life and done so many stupid things that they can’t be counted, furthermore, under no circumstances whatsoever should I still be alive. Regarding the cycling accidents of 2016 & 2017, if we add broken bones to fractures, to parts of bone missing, to areas of damage to the nervous system, to blood clots, to collapsed veins, to stitches to external injuries, to seizures, we get a mere 286! That is the undeniable truth of the matter and although my own actions are not an anathema to me, upon reflection I am very disappointed with myself over far too much. Did you know that in chess if you can’t learn from your own mistakes, its unlikely that you will ever improve much. Life is like that too. Pattern recognition is essential because being who you are can become a full time job if you’re not careful -and I should know. So managing patterns in your own behaviour helps always.

Do take care of yourself if you do go to Laos. Just say to yourself ‘Now we don’t really want do anything rash or extreme like that Mark’. Also think ‘Having a bicycle does give you greater freedom but even freedom has its limits’, and lastly think, ‘Some people have a talent for survival almost unsurpassable but not everyone does, and you don’t want to find out if you do or do not the hard way do you?’ Just be sensible and don’t be silly like me, yes I have a talent for survival, as so many frequently remind me but so what, everything dies eventually.

Finally, if you go to Laos -play it smart, meet many locals, and enjoy the finer points of travel. Travel can be a great thing if you want it to be, steer well clear of being reckless and you should be quite fine. The moral of the story is: if you go to Laos, avoid shit creek. And now I am rambling… .

Let us return to the hope that hangs above the gloom that Laos will do well in their next match.

Mark. J. McCready

02.57am, 4th of August

a saddened room with an air of being let down somewhat, alongside the A/C

in Laksi, BKK, Thailand

Indo-China Region

Asia

*Editors note. Something is wrong with this, who am I actually talking to? Potential future tourists of Laos? Ye is not amused.

I was nowhere near as prepared and just went for it.

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There’s focus, there’s amusement, there’s hilarity, and there’s self-indulgence. I am guilty of all this week but most of all the latter, which you could argue is the sum of the three parts before it. Why? Simply put I can’t express the total amusement I had over the posts regarding shrines a few days back, and in truth I’ve been in love with my blog since then, or at least in love with the idea that more humour would follow on, which it did. Irrespective of how amusing you think I may or may not be, I consider myself to be very funny at times and have been on form all week.

As wonderful and refreshing as that may be, it saddens me as I type, so much so that something has to change with immediate effect for the simple reason that in the past few days I have neglected my daughter, along with everything else in this world. And that is unacceptable because I have very little time left with her before I return to work. It is true that I spoke very little to her today -now that cannot be allowed to go on.

Fewer posts may follow this week or perhaps they won’t. Perhaps the time of writing will change from daylight hours to evening hours, as is the case at this very present. She lies next to me asleep in this cold dark room. Everyone is sleeping except myself. Of the 4 people sharing this space, 2 of them have Covid, it has been confirmed. Inevitably I will pick it up if I haven’t already. Something is wrong already, I can tell but cannot quite tell what it is yet. But that is immaterial… .

A cardinal sin has been committed and I am disappointed with myself for letting it happen. Because of the very nature of who I am, it’s my job to know myself exceptionally well. That I do because I have to. I’ve always been obsessive, today is just one more example of that, and a very cheery one in certain respects, saddening in others. One of hardest things of the job of remaining human and one step ahead of humanity for the most part, is accepting your own values and the vulnerability they bring with them. I love my daughter too much to allow such mistakes to be made and not picked up upon so quickly. Yes it’s not a crime to make yourself happy and love what you do but it is a crime to forget what is most important of all.

Mark: ‘you’re giving me a hard time, what am I supposed to do with a hard time, especially from you?’ You are supposed to remain in love with A Flock of Seagulls playing and stop beating yourself up. No harm has been done, just precious time wasn’t seen as precious. The flip side of all that is you’ve had 6 solid weeks of company and have, in my own little way, grown fond of and very used to it.

What I have to conclude upon is I will forever be an academic with conclusions forefront in my thinking, in addition, I took my love of writing to a new level recently. The content about the guy who smashed up a shrine had me chuckling away for days there. I was entertaining myself like never before and brought many online friends into the humour on different platforms as I could not hide my joy, I really couldn’t. There are no morbid tales here, just a disappointment with myself for allowing priorities to be reordered temporarily. So Grace goes back to being the primary focus, and writing stays secondary. I should not write in the day anymore, that’s her time not my time. Whilst they sleep, well that’s different.

This is what I am supposed to do? The way that you smile reveals a shadow from the past or so the song goes, oh well. What I am supposed to do now is link a song. Can you guess what it is and who it’s by?

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Laos won their first match of the Olympiad today, beating Central African Republic 3-1. That’s a big well done for them.

I hope it brings happiness to whoever follows them back in the capital.

Laos must surely be the freest Communist country in the world.

Many like it because it is so open.

I do too and always go

by bike.

Vang Vieng, so often rained when I was there. Vang Vieng is a very good example of what can happen if law is not enforced and life itself is considered cheap. Those who went there looking for what it had to offer still today constitute the most repulsive bunch of backpackers imaginable. Between 2000-2010, it was one place not to be, and I simply cannot say why on this website. The hardest thing about living in Asia is understanding why they place so little value on life itself, and in Vang Vieng Westerners thrived off the lack of rules there. Truly, truly awful. No one cared about anything except their next drink at the bar, the next high or next thrilling river ride. One Englishman wanting to impress announced how he would be doing back-flips at the bar in one, whilst others just stared at you to decide if you were in with their crowd or not. Too much of a loner and too unpretentious by far, I never got involved, I never gave eye contact, I just fucked off the first chance I got to leave it’s own little crowd alone, trapped in its own little time-warp almost. Perhaps the only danger Laos has is it attracts people you would much rather avoid, and plenty of them too. Pseudo hippy, pseudo cool school wimps I used to knock fuck out of when I was younger. If you don’t dress the part, look cool hanging out, and get excited over river rides, then you aren’t in, and are blanked or snubbed. With nothing ingratiating about your behaviour, you just aren’t in I’m afraid, and so we’re not going to talk to you or even look at you. That is the class of backpacker you will find in Vang Vieng. My advice -don’t fucking go there or if you do just talk with your fists.

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