Archive for December 25th, 2024

Throwing away certain victory

Posted in My own endeavours, My Own Games on December 25, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Opening remarks, I hope you enjoy the oginiality you are about to encounter, an approach opposed to conservatism too, and a sense of pride in my working class upbringing despite it being antithetical to what usually consitutes chess writings. It’s not part of the norm and rather unnerving I suspect. Good if it is. Finding your voice is an aim all writers hope to achieve and is of much greater value than and the opinions of those I have never met, will never know nothing of and have no interest in whatsoever, courtesy of their anonymity which will forever condemn their comments to not worth reading. However, I am willing to concede this post isn’t really worth reading as my account of myself and comments on the world are a little too playful to be believed…ah well, I’ll try to do better next time. Would it help if I said I am by far the baddest, meanest, toughest, most fearsome 1600 player on the planet, capable of finding any mate in one on the board provided I’ve still got a good 25 minutes on the clock still, and have never blundered more than 15 times in a game. I even know how to set the pieces up correctly and can get it done in less than half an hour usually, and if you gave me a pencil to write my name on the scoresheet, it usually take me less than an hour to work out which end you write with, not that I ever write the moves down though, I was told only trannys do that.

Having always been rubbish at chess, it’s very pleasing to redefine my approach and adopt a style of play hyper-aggressive when the intitiative is often seized by sacrifical attacks. I so very nearly beat my electronic friend tonight. I had the game completely won and was spoilt for choice on how to finish him off. But because I am not only rubbish at chess, I’m also a useless bastard, I went and bollocked it up, much to my disappointment. It was my every intention to really stick it to my electronic friend tonight and beat it for the first time. I almost wiped it off the board but got exited and forgot how rubbish I am and bound to mess it up. Which I did, as expected. Go have a look at the game and ask, how on earth could anyone throw that away? Don’t ask me, I don’t even know. It will be quite sometime before I can overcome the disbelief, I estimate about 25 years. It’s killed my interest in redefining my approach to chess completly, I’ll never believe I had it so easily won then blew it, my confidence in myself hasn’t just been sledgehammered, it’s been completely obilterated But to end on a positive note, I do have a chance I can succeed, and it’s only a 10,000,000-1 shot,so wish me luck. Lamentably, If I ever do play chess devoid of confidence, I am usually proper fucked and get massacred always.

To conclude, I sincerely apologize for not having the writing skills required to describe the absolutely appalling way in which I threw the game away. But I do accept in life there are sometimes things we experience we will never be able to understand or believe, I just suppose who are completely rubbish at something should expect this infrequently. But to inspire those who have read this, if like myself disbelief in how crap you are will remain ever present in your life, it is still possible to gain pleasure from playing. It happened to me once 30 years ago, and it’s safe to assume you will experience the same thing at some point in the next 40 years or so, like one of my best friends did. So it’s not all doom and gloom. But I should warn you when he walked into the car park after the match, he got a smack in the mouth and a kick in the bollocks for winning, and when questioned his opponent refused to say the name of the mental home he’d just been let out of too. So be sure you opponent is the amiable type and hasn’t just been let out of a mental home.

https://www.ecforum.org.uk/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=14451&p=313748#p313748

Mark. J. McCready

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The forging of integrity

Posted in Bedfordshire Chess, My own warped humour, On-line journal, Personal Interest & Experience on December 25, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Most in our modern world are unflective and uncritical of their own lives, satisified enough to stay within their own comfort zone and keep it that way. Much more interested in playing with their phone than making an effort to define who they are. Similarly most chess players can only be described as being exempt from the same criticisms if you are taking the piss. It’s the norm that chess players cannot offer rationally informed opinions as to why they play chess. Most will say they just like it, some will say they love chess, many will admit its just a hobby they’ve kept going. If you were to ask how do you develop meaning from chess and how does that bring value in what you do. This is not a question likely to be answered comprehensively by club and county players. This can only be answered purposely by referring efforts aimed towards improvement, the principle selling factor of chess literature. You may be told how they read a book to improve their game. That’s usually about the limits of the efforts for most club/county players who are generally uncommital.

This is partly because they are unaware that improvement itself is multifarious, and sadly that they tend to be poorly educated and adopt an uncritical approach to life itself and all it throws at you. Even Grandmasters, the best chess players on offer, are predomonantly poorly educated most have little or no ability to publish their achievements and are almost completely oblivious to standard literary and academic conventions, hence the reason why as a genre chess literature is decadent and something we should all be ashamed of.

I omce wrote an ambitious dissertation whilst finishing an MA where I had to reinterpret a seminal text and trace unformulated fragements of a concept which was much later developed further in a text towards the end of the authors unappreicated career. I happily went into overdrive with that, accompanied by persistence which pushed me on always. After 18 months research skills that still surprise me to this day, I was commended by several Ph.d students for how beautiful my writing was, told by my professor the amount of work put in made it very useful and insisted it be placed in the library so that undergraduates could benefit from the deeply informative contextualization that shaped it, I got a commendation too but was very glad to see the back of it. I began by readering the seminal text 11 times on the bounce and although this enabled me to understand how it was written and how certain chapters were really only consoldated lecture notes, I fell very much out of love with that text, always certain it’s been given far too much important and am unable to go near it ever again. It’s main criticism is that it’s overwritten, I would say its a complete fucking joke he should be thoroughly ashamed of, as should every person on this planet was stupid enough to read the fucking thing.

This and the numerous meetings I had with my professor, not to mention the defence of it I had to give of it to the entire department that afternoon fashioned and forged a critical mindset, which emerged as an undergraduate, since I came second in the entire year, scoreing 67.4 and only missing out on a first by 2.6 per cent but came on leaps and bounds as a post-grad. I’ve since had to train myself up with post modernism in order to avoid the mistakes usually made with regards to chess history. The good news is I have a deeply obssessive mind and know that if you can channel your thoughts in play you are provided with a massive engine for them. I am an educator and have been in education all my adult life. With so much to learn from the history of chess in our county.and how chess has flourished previously. It’s almost certianly the case that I am more equipped to educate those in charge of things much more so than anyone else, as its far easier for me to define how things stand presently as well as explain how things can be improved by describing that most crucial to be learnt from and implemented. Unforunately this may mean nothing more than me just saying my piece rather than inspiring people and prompting them into action, most probably they’ll just interpret it as extra effort they’ve been lumbered with and make no effort whatsoever. This will make me want to give up on them initally but the virute of my deeply obssessive mind will most likely obliterate that to kingdom come and push me on to persist and not stop persisting until they are suitably impressed with my intentions enough. I have very good relations and am not only well-repected for my blog, also described as a historian my county members, something I am uneasy with as I’ll never be able to define myself as one. I’m nothing more than someone who is pretty good at writing, it’s an art form I began practicising when I was 15 and I never stoped. Originality and creativity are what I cherish most of all, nonetheless, I’m nothing too special, except for when I write brilliantly but that’s not the norm, usually I don’t have much to say because I let my desire to write overrule the pronise not to write if I have nothing to say. But then if you don’t write to be read, all you are doing is letting yourself down. Only the history of chess in Befordshire has an intended audience, everything else is for me only. Despite this, I reiterate I am an educator and what began as I hope it could be learned from is moving towards a necessity that must be enforiced. Raise awareness, narrate our history so that it can be applied, deliniate the decline we are undergoing and demand action. I am more than capapable of achieving that -it’s a piece of piss you could say. Let’s move on from intentionality.

A likely consequence to all this, if I can make it happen, is to return home and become president of my club and county, then it will become my job to put a rocket up the arse of those shanghied into doing what I tell them to do when I tell them to do it. Far too proud of my working class beginnings to do it any other way. I know I can give it my best shot and remain satisfied that I did even if I fail to achieve what I set out to accomplish. Why’s that. Because Greek philosophy has stayed with me all my life, I know how important Socrates being told know thyself by the oracle of Delphi but should you buy into that and want to give it a shot, I’m sorry to tell you it’s a life-long task that is much, much harder than you might think. You have, in fact absolutely no fucking chance whatsoever unless you’ve also got a deeply obssessive mind like me. I know what I idealise and like Tennyson said in. In Memoriam, ‘it’s better to have loved and lost than never have loved before.’ And the most we are ever capable of is to try our best but as we all know nothing often come of that. Nothing to go mental over if I fail, something superceded by the the concession that learing is a life long process. and we can always move on lamenting that doing my best just wasn’t good enough, remembering to alter your opinions of those who did fuck all to help, redefining them as useless bastards I wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire.

I don’t need you to wish me luck, if I can make it happen, most likely I will succeed.

Mark. J. McCready

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