Opening remarks, I hope you enjoy the oginiality you are about to encounter, an approach opposed to conservatism too, and a sense of pride in my working class upbringing despite it being antithetical to what usually consitutes chess writings. It’s not part of the norm and rather unnerving I suspect. Good if it is. Finding your voice is an aim all writers hope to achieve and is of much greater value than and the opinions of those I have never met, will never know nothing of and have no interest in whatsoever, courtesy of their anonymity which will forever condemn their comments to not worth reading. However, I am willing to concede this post isn’t really worth reading as my account of myself and comments on the world are a little too playful to be believed…ah well, I’ll try to do better next time. Would it help if I said I am by far the baddest, meanest, toughest, most fearsome 1600 player on the planet, capable of finding any mate in one on the board provided I’ve still got a good 25 minutes on the clock still, and have never blundered more than 15 times in a game. I even know how to set the pieces up correctly and can get it done in less than half an hour usually, and if you gave me a pencil to write my name on the scoresheet, it usually take me less than an hour to work out which end you write with, not that I ever write the moves down though, I was told only trannys do that.
Having always been rubbish at chess, it’s very pleasing to redefine my approach and adopt a style of play hyper-aggressive when the intitiative is often seized by sacrifical attacks. I so very nearly beat my electronic friend tonight. I had the game completely won and was spoilt for choice on how to finish him off. But because I am not only rubbish at chess, I’m also a useless bastard, I went and bollocked it up, much to my disappointment. It was my every intention to really stick it to my electronic friend tonight and beat it for the first time. I almost wiped it off the board but got exited and forgot how rubbish I am and bound to mess it up. Which I did, as expected. Go have a look at the game and ask, how on earth could anyone throw that away? Don’t ask me, I don’t even know. It will be quite sometime before I can overcome the disbelief, I estimate about 25 years. It’s killed my interest in redefining my approach to chess completly, I’ll never believe I had it so easily won then blew it, my confidence in myself hasn’t just been sledgehammered, it’s been completely obilterated But to end on a positive note, I do have a chance I can succeed, and it’s only a 10,000,000-1 shot,so wish me luck. Lamentably, If I ever do play chess devoid of confidence, I am usually proper fucked and get massacred always.
To conclude, I sincerely apologize for not having the writing skills required to describe the absolutely appalling way in which I threw the game away. But I do accept in life there are sometimes things we experience we will never be able to understand or believe, I just suppose who are completely rubbish at something should expect this infrequently. But to inspire those who have read this, if like myself disbelief in how crap you are will remain ever present in your life, it is still possible to gain pleasure from playing. It happened to me once 30 years ago, and it’s safe to assume you will experience the same thing at some point in the next 40 years or so, like one of my best friends did. So it’s not all doom and gloom. But I should warn you when he walked into the car park after the match, he got a smack in the mouth and a kick in the bollocks for winning, and when questioned his opponent refused to say the name of the mental home he’d just been let out of too. So be sure you opponent is the amiable type and hasn’t just been let out of a mental home.
Mark. J. McCready
McCreadyandChess 
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