Do you really want to know who and what I am? Do you really? I’d think twice if I were you because you will not like what you read. I should know because I have to deal with the aftermath all the time -and it isn’t easy, far from it! Trust me -it’s best you don’t but I can throw some pointers your way anyway. I am brilliant at sitting in a dark room by myself or detached from those in and around me. There, I listen on to the AC only, my mood low, usually, but not too low and passion to write as strong as ever. I don’t go out. I have no social life. I don’t talk to anyone other than myself and am good at making myself laugh. Some long days, writing is my primary form of expression. Too bashful to speak to anyone if not drunk or sedated. And do you know some of the content of this site really has not gone down well back home! There are people who want nothing to do with me whatsoever, whilst others pull up some old post and ask me what’s going on there! I get ‘Hey Mark nice to see you again…hey er Mark, what’s going on with that post you published about Bedfordshire!’ I am creative and playful but reckless at times, and much content on this blog has backfired and caused fall outs. And when I think I am being funny, the writing is most often not up to scratch also.
I will tell you who I am, I am a Luton lad, a Bedfordshire boy. That is me, its in my blood and I am proud of both what goes on back home and what went on back home long ago, and yes at times I do knock up decent material! I am considered ‘the local historian’ when it comes to my home county, as a number of posts have established this, and I have been congratulated for them in person on more than one occasion.
Let me tell you that I am an academic but I am adrift of academia, and on this site I am more playful than serious, purely because it entertains me.
You know what I am really: I am yet another amateur player that likes to post content on line for various reasons. I don’t stand out and I don’t try to market my site either. I don’t use tags to link my site to search engines and I don’t care who comes and goes because I write for myself only.
Do you know that away from this site my life is most unwonted in terms of the path I have blindly gone down and where I am right now. My life isn’t easy but its not hard either. I am a loving father and that keeps me going strong.
Let me tell you more in terms of persona: I have weaknesses I struggle to cope with so much and an inability to learn from my own mistakes. If I told you all that has happened you would wonder how on earth I can still be alive and fully functioning. To say I have pushed my luck at times is one almighty understatement. On two occasions whilst cycling I had accidents which so nearly took my life away and caused me enormous suffering. If I told you to count the number of broken bones THEN ADD fractures THEN ADD parts of bone missing THEN ADD collapsed veins THEN ADD areas of damage to the nervous system THEN ADD blood clots THEN ADD stitches THEN ADD seizures THEN ADD external injuries, it all adds up to 286! And that’s just from two accidents, amongst many others!
I will tell you who I am, I can be hot-tempered and I can be moody. I am anti-social and lacking in friends. I have no savings and will die poor. I have no retirement plans and no secure future. I can’t do my job properly and I live in isolation. I am haunted by loneliness and afraid of death. I have nothing really going for me. I am divorced twice and struggle to make things work domestically. I have few interests and even fewer hobbies. My family don’t want me around. I have fallen out with so many and often for petty reasons. I have lost friends and partners dear to me. I am over weight and prone to depression. Sometimes I drink. Sometimes I take other things. I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia and I am on medication for it. I suffer from a lack of self-control. I am in my 50s and in debt…and lastly, I’m crap at chess.
Did I want my life to turn out like this? No I bloody didn’t! Christ almighty: What a question to ask! There’s so much wrong with it it’s a bloody joke. I can’t fix it anyway, so on we go whether I like it or not.
There, and so do you want to be like me? I thinketh not. Be you and don’t be anyone else… … … … … … … … … … … … … …actually come to think of it, as far as bloggers go, I am up there at the very top of the food chain, and there are many reasons why.
Known to be Luton’s most handsome chess player and also Bedfordshire’s most handsome chess player, I have a way with people and words which keeps me in the limelight. And when centre stage I always put on a good show. Everyone loves me and people want to talk to me all the time. They want to know what the secret is to making such fantastic websites and why I am so good at chess as well as many other things.
Most days I barely get a minute to myself, what with signing autographs and having my picture taken. I rarely stop for lunch as I don’t have time, and I always want to stay trim and lean. Women are always after me -they never let up. I get hundreds of phone calls everyday -it’s all rather hectic!
This is all down to being such a brilliant chess player -as I am. On many occasions, people have stopped playing to come and watch my game, so amazing are some of my moves. Well it’s true I am not titled but it’s not that I am no good, it’s…erm I don’t know what it is . Everyone wants a slice of the action and it’s non-stop. How I find time to run this blog I don’t know, I really don’t…
Okay, I own up. I am not the greatest writer in town. Yes it’s true. Perhaps you are unconvinced at my turn of style there? Was it too transparent? In which case I shall settle the issue with a series of recent photos in which you can see either I am both exceptionally handsome and exceptionally handsome or alternatively none of those horrible aforementioned things or alternatively my funny side, or perhaps all that before to varying degrees!. But to see all that you must promise me you read the captions and buy into them and not because I poured my heart and soul into them, and not because they were written off the cuff but were somewhere between the two somehow! Failure to do so could leave me marooned, ship-wrecked and without a vessle for the passage onwards and I just know you wouldn’t want to leave me like that (nor deny what a cracking sense of humour I oftentimes have).
Disclaimer: these words were not written by me, they were, er, written by someone else I don’t know who. He says ‘You’ve had a good look at those images and read the captions, and so it remains beyond all doubt that this McCready fellow is a jolly good chap and a real catch for the ladies.’ He continues ‘There’s absolutely nothing wrong with him at all and I know should because, er well because, er…because there isn’t and that’s the end of the matter! If you want to believe all that claptrap about him being this, that, and the other, and it all no good well then that’s up to you (editor’s note: why don’t you just delete it all you muppet!) Now, I am a jolly good fellow too…despite what some editor might suggest and countless others. But all those aside and to finalize matters: a picture says a thousand words and there’s just no denying how handsome this chess player is, and yes okay maybe there is quite a bit wrong with him afterall but that doesn’t take away from that fact that he is a very handsome chess player and, after countless failed relationships, he is available now. There is an email below for the ladies (no fat ones please!.None with a boss eye and none with bandy legs. None over the age of 40 also and bloody well make sure they’ve got some money)’
whattheblazesisthisbloodyemailthing@veryhandsomemark.com
(edtor’s note: I’m not sure this is as amusing as you like to think it is Mark! Creative yes but not so amusing perhaps?)
Questionable alter-ego cameo: yes well it’s me at my usual best with a few silly remarks here and there -all of which is a load of old tosh -so say I. (and me)
This words, they um finishings now. You lookings at postings of another there please. I be good I be. I be good I be. This one I know about it ;Man on fire, he makes things burn’…is that it? asdfoiguhnarcissismiufahiouahfuyao Me a writer be but me be a tired man naughty boy and not as funny as he thinks he is…
Afterword
I’ve read this post three times now, and there’s much to be said for it. Let me tell you, this McCready fellow. he’s as good as they get and that’s all there is to it. If you read his posts and visit his site, then you are on the right track. And so this post is a little tough on the eye but so what…
(McCready speaks) The person I loved the most as a child was taken from me when I was only 18. I will never recover and will always long for her, no matter how many more years pass. Deep at the core of my being is depression, and that’s that…I am lonely all too often and nothing can be done. I have no one to talk to, there is no one here. All I have is you, my precious audience. Thank you for just being there. Please don’t listen to all the lies. I am useless, hopeless, and everyone’s waste of time. I am dying oh-so slowly, then I will stop. It will be okay because I don’t belong in this world, not anymore.
There comes misery
There comes sorrow
There come woe
There comes tears
There comes old age
There comes death
Final Remarks
There’s too many contributors and too much going on in this post. It’s bloody hard to follow but follow it you can. It’s quite funny in places but a bit silly also. Creativity levels are high but a step taken back suggests there is something in play here that requires attention. No not narcissism but something akin. Not a bad post but quite tiring in its own little way.
Last words You leave me speechless at times. Fervour aside, what are you playing at here? Bit self-indulgent isn’t it? Does my head in reading the thing now straighten up please Mark. You’ve had your fun, let’s move on.
A Rejoiner Well, I must admit I have read this post quite a few times now and I can’t really work out what its about. It’s not about anything. It has moments of humour and some honest words but I am starting to wonder what the actual point was. Original yes but a bit pointless.
Half-crazed resumption
I thought I’d said too much but I haven’t said enough. There’s an entourage in play and it slows me down. If you read between the lines, the message is clear. There is a lot of weight on my shoulders and I am feeling it as I type. There are a lot of things they don’t tell you back home, bloody good and all. We could say I am in a pickle but that’s not quite right. There is someone around here who is always on top of things. I know what I am doing most if not all of the time. But there is this weight on my shoulders. If only I were as handsome as I like to make out -oh boy, things would be a bit different then. Mark, do you know the message is clear in this post. There is no escaping it. You had your fun but now it’s time to move on.
Mark, alone and just morning me (nothing more)
McCreadyandChess 