“One is unable to notice something-because it is always before one’s eyes”
Ludwig Wittgenstein, Tractatus Logico Philosophicus
Do you know what or who you are? Do you really?
Next question. Do you see yourself as a creature of habit? If so, can you explain why you play chess and when you choose to? Is it always borne out of desire or, perhaps, lack of a better idea on how to pass the time? Aren’t you able to abstain from bullshitting yourself then bottom out the question instead? Not easy is it? Or is it?
“Nothing is so difficult as not deceiving oneself.” Ludwig Wittgenstein, Culture and Value
Today chess exists in two main forms OTB chess (over the board) and online chess.
Online chess just got itself sacked from my life. I did that two months ago but it snuck back in. This time it’s sacked, sacked, sacked.
OTB chess. I have withdrawn from all tournament play and will only visit the chess club once a week -that is enough for me.
I am a philosopher, academically speaking, so by my very nature I have to question. I have to ask myself what do I want, how much do I want of it and why.
Once a week is quite enough, and that’s it. I focus on contentment and not improvement, that is what is pushing the agenda, and if that’s not enough, then everything must go…
“We are asleep. Our Life is a dream. But we wake up sometimes, just enough to know that we are dreaming.” Ludwig Wittgenstein
“Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human. Society is something that precedes the individual. Anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient as not to need to, and therefore does not partake of society, is either a beast or a god.”
Aristotle -Politics
What would he have made of those who opt for online chess instead of OTB chess I wonder?
The Unhindered
Been back in Thailand for over three months now I have. Meet every Friday upstairs in The Royal Oak pub, Sukhumvit 33/1 Bangkok Chess Club does.
The Royal Oak, formerly The Red Bull
A little noisy it is, a little cramped for space too, but for a club moved on every couple years or so, our latest home is tolerable. Whether good (il buono), bad (il cattivo), or ugly (il brutto), I will still like it and enjoy going there most weeks. It’s a stark contrast to what I left behind: life in the desert was getting to me, of that there is no doubt but now ‘unhindered’I can do as I so wish -phew!
The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly final scene
If anything, it has been a slow and gradual welcome return to the fold. In Bangkok for more than fifteen years to play chess now I have been, and make many friends along the way I did, most of whom are still here plying their trade OTB with a steady pint on hand by their board. Highlight of the week it is, play in the blitz tournaments I do always, even though play well I usually don’t. The topography of Bangkok Chess Club is a tough terrain, not just because the playing premises is subject to upheaval biennially…or thereabouts, but more so that several stalwarts aside you never do know who will turn up week to week. You don’t know how many also, with numbers varying between five to thirty usually. There’s a different bunch that make up the numbers as each week passes, predominantly ex-pats sometimes, predominantly local players sometimes, a mix of both usually. There’s a sense of continuity and impermanence stood side by side at Bangkok Chess Club, making each visit to the club both familiar and unpredictable. For me the overarching emotion in play is a sense of belonging. Neither a tourist nor resident, I am one who comes and goes, never staying for too long or too short a time. Not part of the furniture and not one of the passers by either, somewhere in between I am… .
Because of an unwitting and enveloping sense of ‘this is my home’ has grown and grown since my return to the club, it has made OTB chess a rock in my life. Always a pleasant night out where enjoy the occasion I do; the social aspect of the evening more dominant than the competitive side of it always it is… .
The Unabashed
Unleashed from the desert, now entering the city aka BKK was a breath of fresh air in itself. Just seeing people congregate on a sky train freely was enough per se not to mention seeing women in public, dressed as they so wish. Quickly, a spectacle was there to behold with nightlife awaiting. Having spent many years in Bangkok already, I knew everything was on sale, drink, drugs, women, anything I wanted, and plenty of it too. This meant that I started drinking alcohol in the chess club then was off out partying after it had finished ‘unabashed’. Cider was thy tipple in numerous bars in the red light district.
Magners Cider by the board
All this I had to reign in within a month or so because, as anyone can tell you, chess and alcohol do not mix very well. As the night went on, my play got worse and worse, reaching the point where I was blundering thus losing too frequently. It had to stop. So it did stop, and diet coca-cola soon took over. For sure thy cider enhanced the social aspects of the evening and assisted in mood elevation but on the chess front, it was not acceptable, so I pushed it out, and out it stays. Boycotting booze OTB is both good for my health and good for my wallet but what soon followed I didn’t expect. I curtailed partying too, and a month or so later, cut it out, and accompanying loose women I kept dating unsobered. Normality ensued, reigned supreme, and stayed put. There were no more cancellations to the chess club for the likes of her.
I spent quite a few evenings with her
Her nickname is ‘Nan’, her real name ‘Pannada’ and she’s 29 years old. She’s from up north, Nong Bua Lamphu to be exact, and came to like me quite a bit that night she pulled me out of the chess club -which I took as a compliment. Certify I can, she has quite a body on her 🙂 (and before you ask, yes of course I’ve had my hands all over her countless times but no Luton’s handsomest chess player is not telling you what his favourite part of her body is and not through faulty memory because I was bloody drunk all the time!) What the picture, perhaps, doesn’t show you is that when she wears make up and dresses herself up she really is a very beautiful woman.
The Unflappable
Rather than fool around/about/again drinking excessively at the club, making bad videos for this site, I started to focus on my chess more and more week by week. At first, it was far from easy: online chess has altered my level of concentration when I play so much, too much in fact, making me prone to make mistakes more because online chess is rather unserious, a corollary of which being concentration levels are nominalized. So step by step, I stopped online chess altogether, deleted the apps from my Samsung A8 tablet and focused solely on OTB chess aka the real thing.
Thy trusty tablet. With all online chess apps deleted
Notice that with OTB chess the ability of your opponent differs much more greatly than it does with online chess I did and take some weeks to adjust to it took. Was rusty me off the pace with blitz being played at 3m 2s per game? Yes. So speed up I did. Gradually, my results began improving but only because I lost on time less often. Emotions during play had to be contained, something I put into practice by not allowing myself to give up if a mistake was made, for the simple reason you could still win on time. Taught myself to become ‘unflappable’I have, and to focus solely on my next move during play became the norm. Adjusting to etiquette OTB, and FIDE rules too, has taken time. You can’t, for example, knock a piece over, press your clock, then put it back on its square. That’s illegal and loses you the game on the spot but easily done it is. And spotting illegal moves with so little time on the clock is not as easy as you might think, most often with kings not being moved out of check -immediate loss.
Three months have come and gone. The desire to act like a playboy do what I want has as well. What is left is a ‘to do what’s right OTB’ attitude. To win. To win more. And more still. The light at the end of the tunnel -pride in oneself! Chess has become a rock. ‘I am a rock, I am an island’ as Simon and Garfunkel once together sang.
Yes I do have a colourful life, don’t I? Quite unlike that of your average chess player, isn’t it? Wonder why? What if I told you under no circumstances whatsoever should I still be alive? And no I am not joking… .
‘I was sitting at home and had a profound experience. I experienced, in all of my being, that someday I was going to die, and it wouldn’t be like it had been happening, almost dying but somehow staying alive, but I would just die! And two things would happen right before I died: I would regret my entire life; I would want to live it over again. This terrified me. The thought that I would live my entire life, look at it and realize I blew it forced me to do something with my life.‘
Hubert Selby Jr.
Mark. J. McCready, 5.33pm, Tuesday, February 21st.
According to Nietzsche we should live by our passions as they define us. Does this mean we should photograph them also? Most probably it does, however hard that may be. Thankfully chess is easy to photograph as the subject doesn’t usually do very much. I can’t say that’s true of the thing I love the most, and as the picture shows below, experience can back that up.
Chess is much easier to photograph than heavy metal bands.
May I make a suggestion? Should you want to photography chess, try not to use your phone.
You may have noticed that I am, on the whole, disdainful of chess literature. In case you ever wondered why, these comments (under the username olcmarcus) pretty much sum up my position on the matter.
Have you become a loser recently? Losing most of your games are you? Well, are you? If you are a loser all the time, then come to me and read on –I have a lot of experience there!
What do you do to prop yourself up after scathing defeat? A cursory glance at your rating for comfort? Reflect upon decorative victories further along memory lane?
Or do you emancipate yourself from the literary genre encompassing our beautiful game and turn your attention inwards? Have you ever lamented in front of your opponent ‘It was those fucking books I’ve been reading, they said?’
Our soon forsaken literary genre is turning digital these days but still carrying presuppositions which are transcending it’s new found medium-and you are the one paying for it!
If you buy into the blurb, which chess literature is replete with you study for improvement -to become a better player, hence the multitude of publications being churned out on opening repertoire and middle game play. Not to mention all the apps they are bringing out. And although I can’t prove it, the word on the street is the boffins programming them are all drugged up when they do it and the GMs roped in can’t live with themselves because they can’t cut it at the highest level so resort whatever alternative means of revenue they can get their hands on -awaiting further proof.
But should you remove improvement from your motivations, replacing it with the pleasure principle -everything changes. No longer will you stand on your chair in the club, screaming out ‘Them thar books got me all discombobulated! I’ve lost again.
You wouldn’t have started playing chess if you weren’t fascinated by it. No one starts out wanting to improve, it’s love of the game that keeps you coming back for more. But then so many become lost thereafter mainly because there is no profit in writing about playing just for pleasure, so they get hounded out. My advice is to play on but play for pleasure and not improvement.
In prioritising pleasure over improvement, you should enjoy your chess more by becoming unconcerned by results the hits to your self confidence stop, and those soul destroying defeats no longer matter. And who doesn’t want to enjoy our beautiful game more. It may sound like a false anti-thesis in play here but the bottom line is competitive play is defined in terms of results and not how much you enjoyed your game -which is of no importance.
It’s quite simple isn’t it? Stop looking at one thing and look at another instead.
But then why do so many buy into the desire to become better by achieving better results? Looking the other way when you factor in all the effort needed, the pressure it puts you under, and the stress becomes entangled in the smallest of smallest minutiae. And what happens when you reach your very own plataeu and can go no further -what then? Sold into it enough to buy more books, looking for the answer there?
Trust me sweetheart -it’s really not worth it. And above all else, isn’t it you leading your own life. Isn’t it you who chooses who and what to listen to.
Just go back to the very beginning and decide that improvement is not important but the pleasure you gain from playing is, and stays so.
I’m not so great over the board -I’m really not. But I know all too well that being a club player I can put 200 ELO points on my rating quite easily if I put the effort in and slog away. Most, if not all of us could. But not all of us fall prey to the sales pitch that comes along with it…
In order to avoid the road to ruin, head for the path to pleasure and forget about how good you are.
You could argue that eventually it becomes inevitable anyway. Most who hit retirement have already abandoned the latest theory as they are in the process of winding down, and sooner or later we all wind down. As mentioned in a previous post, you may define yourself in accordance with the institute or playing premises you are a part of instead, and just keep it as that if you so wish.
There is no road to ruin down that path. No pressure, no stress, and nothing to lose also.
Since it’s your life, it’s up to you but you should be able to clarify why you play and what you want out of it. And that answer really ought to be personal, decided upon by you with your own decisions made. Rather than something espoused by a literary genre you attached yourself to unwittingly. Ultimately it’s your call, and how rationally informed your decisions are, only you can answer. All I can do is put a few pointers along the way.
You have choices although. You may not realise this but you do. The abandonment of improvement and the stigmata of it’s uncompetitiveness will, once overcome, point you in a different direction. Maybe then, just maybe, you might even thank me for the pointers in play here -as always it’s your call.
And should you define all this as a leap of faith, one which you do not feel ready for, seek out the members of your club who are not interested in studying chess, and bringing along the baggage of chess theory. See how they are in your club and learn from them. You might one day call them ;the happy bunch’
Lastly, Mark’s mystery question about that post:
There is a line in the post which is directly taken from this truly wonderful cover song. Can you guess what it is?
Welcome back to my blog after a hiatus of nearly a month. Once more I sit with the lights off and air con on, only this time there is a carefully placed humidifier below it for I have upped ship and sailed off to the desert. Although locations do, some things never change. Again I sit naked in front of my computer in the dark, yes it’s the middle of the night. There is a can of diet Pepsi to my side, which I have only just started. It is 12.41 am exactly, and having slept already, I am all yours. A fortnight ago I fell into the habit of going to bed at 6 pm and waking up in the middle of the night, this is no exception… .
Since the Olympiad, I have put chess to one side and just got on with my life. No games played on line. No on line events followed either. No chess at all for a month or so, whilst my glorious summer holiday ended and a working life resumed. I don’t know what constitutes downtime for I don’t know how much time must elapse, but we could say we are in one…well I just stopped thinking about chess per se. In terms of motivating myself to get back into our beautiful game, you could say ‘the chips are down’ with no allusions to jiggery-pokery in play, only the use of metaphor.
Today, a major event in the chess calendar begins:
All eyes will be on the world champion and the gathering of elite players he is pitted against. I won’t be following it for it starts past my bed time. But I do recommend you take a peek.
I will sign off now. I am in a land that fielded a team at the Olympiad which I could beat quite easily if I wanted to. Does this alter my interest in chess itself, I mean to be in a non-chess playing nation of sorts? Well it does but oh-so slightly. More importantly, life moves on and whether we like it or not we must readjust to changing circumstances and what they ask, or demand, of us. I am no longer on holiday and cannot watch chess tournaments unfolding at my leisure, as much as I may like to.
I will touch base again once I have thought of something else to say.
Mark. J. McCready 12.53 am, September 2nd 2022
Room 306, Helwa Apartments
Sakaka, Saudi Arabia
That’s me to your right,. Taken four years ago. Shot style: headbanging mode methinks.
…on what this site initially became…on what this site is now becoming…on what this site cannot become…
On what this site initially became…
…once upon a time, the chess-related musings of an adrift academic were bound playfully and electronically in this online journal of sorts. They grew and grew as the decade did too. I kept on because I love to write whether I had much to say or not; therefore, being read by others was usually of little or no importance, comparatively speaking. Content was based on personal thoughts and experience on various topics with no intended audience borne in mind. With topics broadening, my own take on things always shaped the narrative I constructed: I often thought I was insightful but never that I was right. Sometimes imagination gave rise to originality: and of that I have always remained proud. I often introduced humour, believing that I am funnier than I really am. Sometimes, I found my own style antithetical to the conservatism I believe chess is plagued by -oftentimes that has put a gracious smile on my face… .
On what this site is now becoming…
…this site is now becoming a collaboration of chess in Bedfordshire: much more so of the past than the present -that has become the dominant trend. I document the history of chess in Bedfordshire as much as I can, and as time has passed I have become more thorough and resourceful. However, I am not a trained historian as my background lies principally in philosophy but yes it is true I did study some modules on history as both an undergraduate and a post-graduate too; furthermore, I have trained myself up, particularly in terms of postmodern history. Since 2015, I have only read history and historiography as well as those philosophers who have been so influential on postmodern history, such as Nietzsche (whom I once wrote a 19,000 word dissertation on, entitled: Can the Will to Power be Found in The Birth of Tragedy?), also Richard Rorty and Foucault and I suppose certain structualists such as Claude Levi-Strauss too. Regarding postmodernism, mostly I keep to Hayden White, Keith Jenkins and Alan Muslow.
Some friends and former playing partners back home describe me as the ‘go to guy’ for the history of chess in Bedfordshire. This compliment says more about the lack of interest in the subject than my own endeavour. As mentioned, I am too adrift from academia to feel chuffed by it. Rather, I tend to lament that my historical research, like my chess, just isn’t what it should be. Even though I may well have a broad understanding of Bedfordshire chess history courtesy of the volume of research put into it, all of which began in 2014, this is not something I am particularly proud of. Nonetheless, out of courtesy compliments are graciously received. If the truth be told, I just see it as my job and only that – after all someone’s got to do it and no one else is that interested!
Amongst the many others, I have created three categories: ‘Bedfordshire Chess’ and ‘History of Bedfordshire Chess’ and ‘Luton Chess Club’. This website is slowly moving towards a consolidation of those (all of which can be found in one of the toolbars to the right).
On what this site cannot become…
…I like to be both creative and amusing when I can be, factor in that playfulness has been an ever-present factor, the content of this site should be thought of as multifarious. It could be said I continue to enjoy undermining the conservatism I believe chess is underpinned by even after all these years, and often try to use humour to do it still, believing I have got better at it. Consequently, despite the general direction its going in, this site cannot only be about Chess in Bedfordshire and nor will it be. It may become noted for that yes -in fact that’s been the case for years already even by established historians, archivists, and whoever else. External factors aside, this site is titled McCreadyandChess. I cannot, nor will I not, remove my own personal thoughts and experiences of chess from the posts of this site -especially if I think they are funny or original for they constitute my writing at its very, very best. In addition, the number of categories alone tells you that breadth of content is important to me. I am proud of my site, it is identity conferring and that is how it shall stay -end of story. All you really have are: ‘Some thoughts on the beautiful game’, which, incidentally, just happen to be my very own; nothing more, nothing less, take of it whatever you please… .
A side note on how to read old Tom Sweby's columns
Not perhaps, but quintessentially, Old Tom Sweby is best thought of as a passionate devotee to the newspapers he wrote for. He was well read and knowledgeable of the Bedfordshire chess scene and well beyond, given that he was the president of the S.C.C.U. once upon a time. He was generally well-respected and rubbed shoulders with many, if not all, of those eminent within British chess circles. It would, however, be a critical mistake to see his column is primary source material entirely. That it is not. You will also find secondary source material quoted too, and the reliability of that is not quite as Tom hoped. Given that he wrote for decades, this is to some degree inevitable, and after all we are all prone to error whether we realize it or not. Thankfully, with regards to old Tom Sweby, they are infrequent and for the most part old Tom continued to document events and developments in the Bedfordshire league from the get go as best he could but, of course, everything lies open to interpretation. Despite this, and generally speaking. this does indeed make him informative and thus worth reading. Dare I say his columns constitute a narrative describing the latest developments, match reports and changing nature of the Beds league...he knew his audience and wrote according. This manifested itself over decades but brevity was always in play courtesy of the restictions imposed by writing a column. Should you wish to read a in instrumental figure of the Beds' league post WW2, you are quite welcome to peruse what has been posted here... . :-) I should, however, point out that as the decades wore on he gradually moved on away from narratives concerning the Bedfordshire league towards affairs both historical and international. The reasons for this are multifarous, old age was a predominante factor presumably, however, the bottom line is with regards to how the Bedfordshire chess scene developed post WW2: old Tom Sweby is your go to guy. He wrote more about chess in Bedforshire than anyone else did but given he was a Lutonian and writing for a Luton newspaper there is both bias and greater coverage of his hometown than the rest of the county.
Gallery
I’m either 10 or 11 here
1982, myself versus Brian from Sunderland.
At the Thai Junior chess championships. My daughter of course.
Pattaya 2011
2011
Thai Junior Championships
2008
2011
Around 2011
2011
Pattaya 2009
2011
Kuwait 2008
2012
2012
2011 BKK Chess club
2011
2011 Thai Open
2011 Thai Open
2013 approx
Around 2014
2010
2012
Around 2011
2011
2011
2013
Around 2011
Around 2011
2020
2011
2008
2011
2013 or thereabouts
2010
2017
2014?
2010
2024
2024
2024
To add comments, please see the bell at the top of the page.
McCreadyandChess 