Archive for the ‘Personal Interest & Experience’ Category

Get this: I enter my daughter into the National Championships of the country where she was born. She is entered into the girls U-8 section, which I thought she’d find a cinch. Her results are here:

The bottom line is she just isn’t ready, losing one game in only 6 moves. I found it hard on many levels. I have hyper mania and have had it since my main accident on Oct 9th 2016. Instead of sleeping I am up all night sprinting down dark lanes listening to dark heavy metal. Then it’s a motorbike to where the temple is, a walk over a long bridge, a taxi ride, 21 stops on the skytrain and, a sprint across a major city junction -not the sort of start to a day of chess your opening moves should bear resemblance towards and care for a dependent daughter relishes.

Despite my rusted eyes, photography responsibilities came to the fore, but because the chief arbiter didn’t know me, I had to put him in his place. The organizer, an old playing partner, stopped him short and let me come and go as I pleased whilst all other parents were booted out about a minute before play began -leaving me to click away until the fatigue made my eyes too heavy. Here are some of the pics I took of my daughter.

With parenthood patience becomes a virtue. And on a lighter note, because I have hyper mania and never sleep, on the train between rounds I dropped and went right to the end of the line, fifteen stations past the one I was meant to alight -Pra Khanong, which means temple village by translation. The security guard had trouble waking me up. When I got booted off the train I was propa fucked – but miles away from where I needed to be made me laugh more than anything. The next day I nodded off on the train again but only went one station past where I was meant to alight this time. At least it gave me good reason to flirt with a super hot mum whose daughter played mine. Tough old five days that was, thankfully with it being a long holiday there were less muppets in the city.

A lot more work lies ahead and speaking of which, it’s 0340 and time for another run down down lanes with dark heavy metal blasting out the old eardrums. Only 4.32kms everyday with a 1.6 km bike ride. Nothing much but sorely felt during official events…

“The soul is healed by being with children.”
― Fyodor Dostoevsky

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Not since living in Azerbaijan have I had to dust off ye olde Canon. Now some might consider that rather forlorned, which it is, but it’s what ya do with what ya got which counts the most.

I love my Portrait Lens and it’s f1.8 shallow depth of field, as ya shall surely see. It’s me daughter’s first chance to represent her country so a rusty me will be a creative-me too, as yee shall see… .

As esteemed chess coach Richard James will tell you results so rarely matter when they are so young…


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I’m staying put despite the workload ahead…

Changes afoot there are aplenty…

I’m too paid up to alter the principle, let alone the interest off it…

All shall be explained in due course…

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Greetings all. I lament that this site will close and will probably close quite soon. I’ve been reprimanded and beaten into submission. I don’t think I did much wrong nonetheless I must pay the price. Whether I like it or not I have to create my own website, the details will follow. I had hoped to freely post the project I am so deeply engaged in but I can’t. The emerging project I can to some degree but only that.

Progress, in our modern age, cannot be defined without recourse to financial gain by the ‘bourgeoisie’ as Marx would have put it. I lament that a publication appears to be in order, so I can’t post the one thing I was hoping to although I can, so I am told, post excerpts. I have to pay the price for a website both all my own and one others can profit from.

End of post.


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Cajoled when rusty, I sheepishly agreed to play the first competitive chess in three years and did surprisingly well with three wins from four games. In the first, my opponent resigned with a shake of my hand and sincere smile, stating the manner in which he lost involved the most clever trap he’s ever seen. There’s no doubting I finished the game in quick fashion but there was no trap involved and I told him so. I always play intuitively and believe firmly that evaluation triumphs over calculation, and herein lies a proof.

Firstly I confused him with a set up I played in the early 90s and recently rediscovered, courtesy of the following link.

I reached the following position and was quite comfortable. My opponent admitted he didn’t know what to do -his piece placement appears to back that up. I have the black pieces and was expecting Bb7, Qc7, and 0-0-0, just like Petrosian used to play.


I gained control of the centre easily enough then reached the following position. It’s not won yet but I did notice if he repositions his knight he will lose immediately, and that’s why I moved my king next.


I played 25…Kd6 inducing 26. Ne4. This he played so I returned my king to e7, expecting him to misplace his knight, which he then did. He played Nc5, cutting off the rooks and attacking an undefended bishop. It looks pretty but it’s not. I can drop the exchange and get it back straight away with a strong positional edge anytime I like. And I didn’t see one false move from him will cost him the game immediately -and that’s exactly what happened. So it went 26. Ne4+ Ke7 27. Nc5 ?! Rc2xc5 28 dxc5 Rd8+. I calculated Kc1 only, thinking I would regain the exchange with a better rook and a dominant position. I didn’t see Kc2 and was fortunate enough to find it was ‘one false move’. and only that 29 Kc2 ?? Bd3+ 30. Kb3 Bxb1 31. Rxb1 Rd3+ 32. resigns… .


The final position.

Had I seen all that, indeed a nasty trap was set and sprung. But I didn’t see it all, I just focused on piece improvement and utilized that only. Nonetheless, my Austrian opponent remained exceedingly respectful. He was complimentary but unjustifiably so I think.

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Here’s two videos from her first tournament. I will be playing with her in the next one. Below both, a picture of I watching on appears.


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If six hour sessions most nights constitutes being heavily caught up in a writing project, then I am. And focusing on it so intensely it is having a profound impact on my life. The post itself details in great length what I did and didn’t gain from chess in my youth. In writing it I became fully aware of the fact that chess had a far larger impact on who I was than anything else in my youth, and forever thereafter for that matter. It is clear what my goal in life now is, and that is to inspire my daughter to become a stronger player than I was…and so the preparation begins. She goes to a chess school, here is an excerpt from her first lesson. It’s in Thai but you can follow the action easily enough. The amusing irony here is that Grace opens with the move I played most of my life.

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Whether I like it or not I feel obliged to document content, health permitting of course. I thought it best that my daughter can find her first recorded moments of chess with her father. I have, of course, taught her how to play and taught her how to develop a conscious overview of her thought processes when she plays. I wrote down our first two proper games and was surprised to see that some of her moves show she has a good grasp of the game already. She even started off with the English Opening -an apt choice!aviary-image-1564320588730aviary-image-1564320776517aviary-image-156432094022720190728_103405.jpgaviary-image-1568214302093aviary-image-1568216713606

Since my last post, I am happy to announce I have some movement in my right shoulder now and am hoping to be well sooner rather than later…

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Greetings my dear friends and sincere apologies for my absence. I am still in recovery from a major accident three years back and have found the adjustments to that difficult to say the least. I recently suffered from a seizure which so nearly cost me my life. It did not and instead has jolted me back into action even though I am still injured.

It is my intention to offer a post-modern historical account on the history of Bedfordshire Chess, and I do have a publisher lined up, should I stay alive long enough to complete it. Last year I underwent the process of teaching myself the finer points and methodological procedures of Britain’s most prominent post-modern historians, of whom Jenkins is the one I am learning the most from. But with the British Library remaining rather guarded over their resources, this project has barely got off the ground (although the groundwork is being put in).

More recently I spent a year and more writing about what I gained and did not gain from chess in my youth. That far from finished project is at the 20,000 word mark already and has not one but two appendices; one written within the confines of academic procedure, the other a stylistic device written in ‘teen speak’ if you like…or put differently how I used to speak as the street kid I was and still am. It’s a very broad project which has a narrative beginning many decades before I was born, strictly speaking its a mimeses of life itself, and by mimesis I specifically refer to the term used when Plato’s writings are referenced (more on that to come). Once again, I’m sad to say for local readers, it isn’t the greatest advert for the Bedfordshire Chess League, and worse, to a lesser extent the post prefaces the one preceding this (yes the one with the rather pretentious title).

A devoted reader of this site pointed out that when she knew me, I had dropped my accent. For some time I have wondered about that, as rebuilding who you are after losing your entire memory isn’t exactly easy. Well, anyway, it was because chess players generally don’t speak with the same crude, working class accent I grew up talking with. So, snippets of super-exciting content left to one side: when the project will be complete I don’t know. Will it be worth reading? Not sure also. But what I do know is that health comes first, oh and in addition my writing style has changed considerably, more on that to come later…. .

I don’t yet have full use of my limbs after my most recent seizure and until my health is restored I can’t really write much if anything at all, well not without the concentration it requires that is… .

It was also my intention to rejoin The British Newspaper Archive and post content from that. Again, this is of local interest only and partially explained by the fact that my world view is altered by personal injury, as is the case with everyone else who has had to fight to have their life saved. It’s no longer the case that I can post about anything beyond personal experience within the environment I developed as a player, and offer interpretations of that environment itself -by this I mean differing historical accounts. The world beyond that is too far removed from play, and since when was I ever good enough as a player to comment on it anyway?

Health permitting, and ability to remain alive with an uncrashed head on my bicycle, I do hope to return home around christmas this year, and hopefully play some chess at home. So to conclude, I will bring this site back to life when I am strong enough to do so, and hopefully that will be sooner rather than later… .

Until then… .

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