In the past I have been known as a wind-up merchant and a pain up the arse, and got myself banned on forums for a few weeks because I got a bit carried away with myself (I must admit, I did like it when I started talking about there being no ball in chess. I would imagine most people have worked that out already). Well, I am at it again and will no doubt fail to impress a fair few. I like the comedy element personally. Here is what I posted.
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I’ve called a 3rd AGM. Another issue has arisen and it deserves it’s own meeting. I shall be holding this AGM on the toilet, like the two before it. The topic for this AGM is ‘I am always sitting naked in bed when I post things on line. Should I be suitably dressed instead, and be sitting on a chair by a desk?’
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Now I know what you are thinking or should I say I know what you are phased by -the title of course. Firstly, am I referring to the chess world in light of the so-called cheating scandal that has the chess world in its grip? Well, close but it’s not quite it although we certainly are suffocating through lack of information.
Revive me
So if it’s not a reference to anything chess related, and as you should have guessed by now, we must turn our attention to the thing that Mark loves the most -music. Now we are talking. Yes it’s the title of a song -and one of my favourites. The video is linked below. It’s a nice little number you could sing down the pub and get a good sing-a-song going with.
By Grace save me
Returning to the cheating scandal, I speak with humanity when I ask, ‘What harm has it done to GM Hans Niemann? Can’t we all appeal to our own sense of humanity and either say what’s been bothering the parties involved or just move on from it.
And the maker reveals his one face
What an embarrassment it has become. I mean anal beads of all things -how bloody ridiculous. I think I can safely say its the first time I have felt let down by the world champion. the fear that has struck home -and over what?
Creator of suffering divine
Anyway, here’s that song. It’s a very tidy little number with a good video.
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Sooner or later we all die. There’s nothing you can do about it and most likely you won’t see it coming. I will die, you will die, we all will die.
I will live on through this site, which is staying where it is.
I will live on through my child, who is well-looked after.
Yes sooner or later you are going to die.
Who will remember me after I’ve gone?
Do I hear a song coming on?
(note to self: Mark, don’t let off farts when I am writing, especially when the topic is a bit morbid. Hold onto the bastards air biscuits and let them off after you’ve finished writing, okay?)
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I’m at it again on one of the forums. But the thing is, I do have a valid point.
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I’m not easily beaten with the black pieces.
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I may decide to have a second AGM, again on the toilet at some point. The topic for this AGM will be whether I should sue myself or not. I have spent money on establishing my own website and then just messed about with it and mucked things up, whilst I watched so I’m not happy and believe action may need to be taken. Should suing myself and continuing to mess about be handled in the same sentence. It should be a longer AGM and more decisive action should be taken. Lawyers might get involved, it could be fun! Must be on the toilet though.
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Hi there readers (and hi to me). I regret to tell you I am in a rather odd mood.
I did want to raise the issue of identity. How do you define the sort of player you’ve become? Which year in your life stands out and why? Who was a big influence and why? How did you develop? What’s happened since then? What type of player are you and how do you know? Has an overload of theory got the better of you?
Today, we are caught up in so many things that we forget the most basic, like what we are. You should be able to define yourself. You should be able to know what you became, how and why? But then modernity asks so much of us that simple things can become lost in the midst of time.
For me, well 1993 was the year I became much more solid as a player and pretty tough to beat. That was the definitive year as far as I am concerned. I’m still pretty solid and that’s how I like to keep it.
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Should I continue on with this blog, I will introduce mental challenges with prizes to be won for the lucky person. The top prize is going to be a car and most likely that will be a tough challenge like solve mate in 1 but a real tough mate in one. The sort where someone with a FIDE rating of 1200 needs half a minute on the clock to find it and someone with a FIDE rating of 2200 needs an hour easily. I will have other prizes, like packets of crisps, pen sets, cheese grater, ironing board, ant killer, and even a chocolate fireguard. I should add that if your rating is over 2800, you can’t play.
More details to follow
Mark, you could be onto a nice little earner here. Just charge people one pound to enter and pocket the profit
Take their money and destroy your website in the process. Never look back.
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I’m going to hold an AGM on October 1st. I shall chair the meeting no one else is coming. Only one topic will be announced and that will be ‘Should I keep this site going or scrap the bastard it.
The meeting will last around five seconds and a vote will be put to decide matters. I shall begin proceedings when I am on the toilet.
I’m not sure if I’ve said before but I loathe this site and what it’s become. It used to be such a nice and simple site with lots of links. Now its the ravings of a madman usually or if not lots of obscure stuff that no one can be bothered with -even the person that wrote it. It really has gone down the drain this site and it’s a shame. The person controlling it likes to think he is so funny and his site is full of entertainment. He needs to go back to the funny farm. It’s not funny its sad. It’s not entertaining its dross and it should be stopped now! Maybe more people should come to the AGM
For some reason, I have lost track of time this morning…
What happened to that drink I was going to get?
Stop thinking about anal beads and stop for good…
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A side note on how to read old Tom Sweby's columns
Not perhaps, but quintessentially, Old Tom Sweby is best thought of as a passionate devotee to the newspapers he wrote for. He was well read and knowledgeable of the Bedfordshire chess scene and well beyond, given that he was the president of the S.C.C.U. once upon a time. He was generally well-respected and rubbed shoulders with many, if not all, of those eminent within British chess circles. It would, however, be a critical mistake to see his column is primary source material entirely. That it is not. You will also find secondary source material quoted too, and the reliability of that is not quite as Tom hoped. Given that he wrote for decades, this is to some degree inevitable, and after all we are all prone to error whether we realize it or not. Thankfully, with regards to old Tom Sweby, they are infrequent and for the most part old Tom continued to document events and developments in the Bedfordshire league from the get go as best he could but, of course, everything lies open to interpretation. Despite this, and generally speaking. this does indeed make him informative and thus worth reading. Dare I say his columns constitute a narrative describing the latest developments, match reports and changing nature of the Beds league...he knew his audience and wrote according. This manifested itself over decades but brevity was always in play courtesy of the restictions imposed by writing a column. Should you wish to read a in instrumental figure of the Beds' league post WW2, you are quite welcome to peruse what has been posted here... . :-) I should, however, point out that as the decades wore on he gradually moved on away from narratives concerning the Bedfordshire league towards affairs both historical and international. The reasons for this are multifarous, old age was a predominante factor presumably, however, the bottom line is with regards to how the Bedfordshire chess scene developed post WW2: old Tom Sweby is your go to guy. He wrote more about chess in Bedforshire than anyone else did but given he was a Lutonian and writing for a Luton newspaper there is both bias and greater coverage of his hometown than the rest of the county.
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