WW3

In the chess Olympiad, England play Austria today. As you may know Austria is where Hitler was from so is this going to be WW3? Will those Austrians try and team up with ze Germans and allign forces? Will England, with it’s tail between it’s legs, go asking the Americans for help knowing Russia isn’t allowed to participate this time and so can’t be relied upon (especially when busy with Ukraine).

Let battle commence and let us hope that England are victorious for once. And I do apologize for remaining a post-modern historian, and I’m doubly sure you don’t need me to tell you BUT everything is open to interpretation, and that includes England winning WW2! (which it bloody well did not)

MJM

Laos managed to draw their match against the British Virgin Islands yesterday rather than lose 4-0. They have a point in the table now. Let us hope they pick up another or even a victory but most importantly at all, let us remember the character of the Laotians and hope/assume that no matter what the results are, they are enjoying themselves -highly probable. And so even though they face tougher opponents today, let’s hope their national character wins through and it’s fun all round!

Pak Beng, deep into the Laotian countryside and only accessible by the river Mekong at the time. Do you know I once spent an evening there some 22 years ago in early Feb? There was only one hill, only some of it had electricity, most restaurants used candles when serving evening meals. I slept on wooden boards in a hut further up the hill. There the morning after, I still remember a toddler chase after some weird looking fruit rolling down the hill (which eventually ran out of speed in a puddle, which all excited, he then coveted with a big surreptitious smile) and that further up the hill was a different tribe with their own language as you would expect. Being a tourist, all the locals wanted to sell you was food, pens or drugs -and being me I went and got high whilst there in one of the restaurants and yes I still remember standing on the banks of the river looking at the stars, pointing them out until I got rounded up by a taken aback policeman and sent off to my wooden hut -ah those were the days!
T’was about there where I stood below a glassy evening sky, pointing out the stars.

The reason I stopped off in Pak Beng was because I took the boat to Luang Prabang. So highly recommended by all. I remember wandering around streets not knowing where I was going (because I couldn’t think straight and didn’t know if I had already walked down that street already), then running into the couple I started chatting to at the restaurant when I bumped into them by chance. ‘Where’ve you been? They asked with some exasperation since we got on so well in the restaurant in Pak Beng until, well until, well until it was, erm, well…the conversation became a bit intense and started to wander at the same time also…well anyway so I put on an act and said I wasn’t well and rubbed my forehead to back it up with a slight swoon…in retrospect that was better than saying I got out of it on that shit! But the thing is, for that little tourist loop, it was quite the norm amongst backpackers back then -so I was fitting in really!

Anyway, I am not suggesting you should visit Laos and go and get high, but from personal experience, I am not sure what else you could do. I most certainly don’t recommend getting high then putting about 60 kms on your bike across the countryside in the dark -that you should not do believe me. Ah maybe drink beer and look for someone to play chess on the street? They have their own version of chess there, so be ready, it’s much more popular and you can get a game on the street anywhere, so yes, now thinking about it, do that (but not whilst high). Beer + local variants of chess, and a few photographs…phew I finally worked out how to spend time in Laos more productively!

They might be up for a game or two but which version of chess will they play.

Mark. J. McCready 11.15am August 3rd

Laksi Bangkok

Laos has fallen to the bottom of the table in the Olympiad, I suspect they may have the weakest team too.

They play The British Virgin Islands today.

It doesn’t look good. Prospects aren’t really there.

Your game has only just finished. With your opponent you courteously enter the analysis room for a look at the game. You sit down together and it starts normally, then suddenly you have a massive panic attack. Visions of shrines, demons, and the wrong lottery numbers, overpower your mind and run riot within it. Flustered and emotionally charged, you jump up and start shouting in another language. You can’t think straight nor think about your game anymore. Many people are alarmed and stop what they are doing, some children look scared almost. Some minutes pass before emotions are held in check again, then it happens again. The same visions return but this time there are extra visions of being tasered by police too, as well as many bottles of booze. It causes you to have another panic attack rendering analysis impossible. Your walk becomes a limp, your head a mess. Your opponent doesn’t know what’s happening and asks what is wrong. What should you say and do?

Ride out the storm. Yes more panic attacks are coming because the visions reappear but we can ride it out.

Or you could bring the analysis to an early end as it isn’t getting me anywhere.

Or you could decide not to invest time and money in the lottery anymore.

Or you could emigrate to Russia and become an alcoholic.

Could you re-alter your sense of time somehow and perhaps avoid being tasered…oh and don’t smash anything else up.

Maybe go for therapy and go on medication?

Now look at this, I’ve got to finish this post up. I’m getting visions of visions which are warping into my own sense of humour.

Last option: make tea not war!

M.J.McCready 0607 August 2

A dark room in a big city.

Tragedy

I so nearly forgot that tragedy lurks round every corner and can’t be avoided indefinitely. Regarding the lottery, in the mid 90s there was a very tragic case where a young man killed himself because of the lottery. He spent time wondering whether to spend one pound on a valentine’s card for his girlfriend or putting it on the lottery. He chose not to play the lottery that week but his numbers came in and he would have won. But he spent that money on a card and got so angry with himself, he killed himself. A real tragedy I heard over the radio. Sympathies for his family… .

An old bus

You are on an old bus lost somehow somewhere in the countryside. You are not thinking about your destination, more so what you see passing by in the windows. The sky is grey, you feel a little sleepy. Suddenly the bus swerves then brakes hard. You turn around to see what’s happened and catch a glimpse of a shrine that passes by. Your head begins filling with chess moves and chess games from yesteryear. Moves from games gone by repeat over and over. The bus stops to allow a beautiful girl to get on. Religious enlightenment doesn’t occur, just more moves repeat themselves. Do you stay on the bus or jump off it, risking certain death?

You stay on the bus and nothing else happens. The girl got off, you arrived at your destination and your head is no longer full of moves and games from yesteryear. But your trousers have got a hole in them? How did it happen on a bus? They are torn, the sky is still grey.

What happens of that day is not worth writing about. You passed a shrine and nothing much really happened. Alone, you walk on home. No one will talk to me because no one is there. Alone I got ready for bed. Then I sat wondering if I would spend my entire life feeling alone. And then went to bed.

Well done for not doing anything. That means nothing but nothing is good. Nothing got smashed up. Nothing.

You are playing blitz down your local club but as you play the moves aren’t coming into your head. Instead you get lottery numbers then these urges to go out and place bets come.

Would you resign your game and go home or would you leave the club and get some lottery tickets OR would you quit chess altogether, change your identity, buy a plane ticket and start a new life somewhere else. OR would you get a pint of cider at the bar and forget all about it?

Lottery Tickets

Let’s say you are playing for the county. It’s a Saturday morning and you are in Newmarket, Turner Hall. You are in the middle game and putting up a good fight on the board. Would you get up from your chair whilst your opponent is thinking, walk out of the hall, to a newsagent and put a lottery ticket on in the middle of the game? How would you chose the numbers or have they been communicated to you already?

Would you do that in a county game? I wouldn’t. I’d lose concentration on my game and get done over. No malarkey for county matches. That’s pure chess. No lottery tickets, just chess and only chess. And anyway that town is famous for horse racing, a lot of those lanes are used as bridle paths and stink the place up with horseshit. I don’t want that on my shoes when I am trying to concentrate over the board and win for my team! Fuck that lottery bollocks, some other day maybe. End up with a horseshit sandwich otherwise…ah fuck that bollocks. No lottery and that’s final.

Demons

If you were playing competitive chess and then in the opening you are contacted by spirits, they tell you about your game and expected moves but everything they say is false and doesn’t happen, would you smash the clock up if it carried on? A professional player would smash that clock up but an amateur might just get up and walk around. If it were me and I was being told of moves that never happen again and again, I’d smash the clock up yes. Yes I would because they might go away then. But I would have to go to the bar first and get lagered up real fast, then you could really smash that clock up.

Tune in again for more professional advice.

MJM 2.47am

August 2nd.

A dark room in the capital

Rightly or wrongly, I will admit I had myself well entertained earlier today. That story about the shrine had me laughing for hours, and laughing and telling people about it and asking them if they would do the same and so on.

You can see the extent of the damage in the video here:

And let’s be honest, we need to chuckle sometimes. I can’t really offer advice on visiting shrines and factoring that into your chess. All I can say is that some spirits are evil and are tricksters too. I wouldn’t bother with them personally. I wonder what the police in the video thought of that bloke? How could they not laugh?