With a 3-week christmas break from work, I flew into Bangkok as might be expected. I had hoped to visit the chess club the week I arrived and made it a priority but silly me fell asleep in the day it is open (Friday) and missed it, that being last week. I won’t let that happen this week and will bring my daughter and her mother with me. I also hope to meet up with my old friend Aek, who is much better than me and an old friend I haven’t seen in a while.
It may well be the case that the numbers will be low that evening, as a very great many leave Bangkok for the new year, and most likely I will either play little or no chess but this is immaterial. It remains the case that the sense of occasion is most important of all from visits to the chess club. By this I mean meeting up iwth old friends, enjoying the atmosphere, making new friends and so on as this helps me feel less guilty about being rubbish at chess. Since my daughter and her mother have both started helping out at chess tournaments regularly this year, I have noticed it just feels right to see them connected to our beautiful game. And sometimes we need to be reminded of what’s important, particularly if your lifestyle is as transient as mine unfortunately is. It is my hope that chess remains a part of my daughters life always, and so it makes me satisified to be in a chess environment with her whether she plays or not. Same also holds for myself even though I do seem to have chess on the brain these days. This, however, has come about because I enjoy writing about chess more than playing it and not because I am rubbish and ashamed of myself. To add further you could say I’m not as young as I was and the passion to play isn’t quite there…well that’s me being courteous. They only play blitz at Bangkok chess club, which is not so appealing shall we say.
So my hope is that I will visit Bangkok chess club which will be my only opportunity before I return to work and being there will help bring home what things are important. Simple pleasures serving as simple reminders. Hopefully Grace will enjoy it and be more open to going there in the future as well as scontinuing to help out at chess events with her mum. This is a definitive improvement on me turning up, going there on my tod, getting drunk and making silly videos, which I am happy to tell you are not going to continue, courtesy of the opportunities to go to the club becoming less and myself less inclined to act like a tit when there.
You may be curious as to what this all means? Yes it is true that despite my efforts when my daughter was younger, she has never taken to chess as I hoped she would. This can only be interpreted as a failure on my part. My efforts were unsustained and proved that not only am I a lazy sod but also a lazy git. and loving parents do not force their children to do things. Overall, she’s kept a only a slight interest in chess and rarely plays. So to see her showing more interest and being acquainted with the very thing that brought about her very own existence about does, to some degree, help appease my own failings…ah well, no one is perfect, at least I tried.
So as 2024 comes to a close I am happy to say that I am able to go to the chess club and do what feels right. That is a noteable improvement on the months preceeding where togetherness was absent and ill health accompanying my visitations. Just so I could go somewhere and converse with members I don’t really know just because they like the same thing I do, Self-assured I state, instead I am able to arrive at the club and benefit from an identity conferring experience. For I know what feels right and hope springs eternal. Maybe one day it will become the norm.
I hope that in reading this post it encourages or inspires you to question why you go to your chess club. By this I mean asking yourself what you get out of it and how you can get more out of your investested time and intentionality. You may find it develops more meaning and importance should you do so, especially if times have been hard most recently. You may, if you are fortunate find that contentment is more important than improvment and gain more from your time at your club as a result, Just a thought from someone left with an eternally enquiring mind, having studied Philosophy for 4 years after reading it solidly for 3 years.
Mark.J.McCready
McCreadyandChess 